By: Isabel F. William
When it comes to long-term relationships, millennials can learn from their elders. Today, people believe that they are exchangeable. They analyze and criticize each other, reaching to a conclusion that, “He’s no good, so I’ll leave him and find someone better.” It’s better to be alone than in a bad relationship, right? Right, but we often jump to conclusions or find excuses for leaving someone for their imperfections while failing to understand that our personalities are ornamented with many imperfections as well.
MILLENNIALS AND LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIPS
“When someone loves you, the way they talk about you is different. You feel safe and comfortable.”
―Jess C. Scott, The Intern
According to some statistics, young millennials are having less sexual partners than baby-boomers and are marrying less often and later. There really aren’t labels for all the types of relationships that millennials are entering, along with the various dating apps, greater acceptance of same-sex relationships, more permissive attitudes about sex, distrust for gender roles and people putting their careers first.
Their relationships are casual hookups that can actually span across several years and be based on spontaneous meetings and heartfelt texts. Instead of having a boyfriend or girlfriend, millennials have “dating partners” who are described as people with whom you do things that you’d do with a spouse but without defining the relationship. People usually enter them because they don’t want to commit or know that a long-term relationship with a particular person won’t work.
With so many dating websites at hand, young people flirt so much but decide it’s not the right time to enter a relationship because it interferes with their plans of traveling the world or starting a business, which can be anytime now (but doesn’t happen). A lot of young people don’t really have clearly defined plans; they don’t know what they’re looking for, so they’re just passing the time until they get a clue.
RELATIONSHIP MISTAKES
“Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.”
―J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Relationships can really be stressful, and not all of them are meant to last. On the other hand, a millennial’s attitude of being self-sustainable and self-made may interfere in their relationships, placing their individuality at the center, while relationships require putting your ego and self-centricity to the side. No one can be exchanged for anyone else, and one shouldn’t abandon others just because they are a bit flawed.
Disappointment in relationships always lurks around the corner if you think that you can change partners until you find the perfect guy. Behind every successful relationship is a lot of honest work because each person we encounter will test our capacity for tolerance, patience, compromise and sacrifice. However, the biggest problems are the ones caused by the first dating mistakes women make in the earliest stages of a relationship, which seem benevolent at the time but grow to become “irreconcilable differences.” For a long-lasting and healthy relationship, you need to:
EMBRACE YOUR PARTNER’S FLAWS
Remember that nobody’s perfect. You may override or stop noticing the flaws of your new partner due to the initial attraction. However, you learn more about each other as things progress. Be caring and understanding so your partner can open up and show the real them.
BE YOURSELF AND COMMUNICATE
Being honest with yourself is critical to making a relationship last. Being true to yourself about what you want out of a relationship and your life is essential, so don’t dilute your views on anything. Also, let your guard down and don’t hide your feelings. Speak your mind so the other can know your thoughts and feelings.
BALANCE AND DON’T RUSH
Your independence doesn’t have to be compromised, but you’re not sending the right signals if you can dedicate only a few hours a week to your partner. Invest time in your relationship, but don’t go to another extreme. Don’t make room for them at the expense of everything else— everything else is important for maintaining a balance. Don’t worry about what your partner’s thinking. Enjoy the present, go slow and take your time to question whether the relationship is right for you.
BENEFITS OF LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIPS
“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: If there is any reaction, both are transformed.”
―C.G. Jung
There is a myriad of benefits of being in a long-term relationship. There’s always someone who you can enjoy and share a laugh with, while on the other hand the same one has your back and provides a sense of security. Being able to have a continuity of conversation is a gift, and over time you can learn each other’s thinking patterns and communication styles, which builds your communication skills.
The longer you are with someone means that you’ve endured many situations and crises together, and you begin to value more the strength of companionship during difficult times as you grow together. Trust and continuity are built with familiarity and intimacy, which makes the closeness between grow. Certain questions, such as health challenges, are taken for granted when we’re single, vital and young, but it changes as we grow old, and a trusted companion will be there in times of emergency and need.
Making a lifelong relationship work takes time and effort of working together toward a shared goal. Eventually, they will see the advantages of having a long-term partner with whom to share everything. It takes respect and patience to get two heads to work together, regardless of conflicts. The longer you work at it, the more likely it will be a healthy and successful relationship.
Isabel F. William – Body&Mind Balance Consultant. Lover of literature and philosophy, runner and Tai Chi master. She believes that sometimes it is just enough to enjoy a really good book, smooth jazz and a cup of coffee to travel somewhere else.
Web: www.ripped.me
E-mail: isabel.f.william@gmail.com or isabel.frank@ripped.me
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Isabel_FWilliam