“The shadow is the greatest teacher for how to come to the light.” ~ Ram Dass
I recently participated in a group exercise led by speaker and mindset coach, Laura Aura. (If you are unfamiliar with her, you can find her @ thatlauraaura on Instagram.) As part of the exercise, we tapped into our inner teenage selves and allowed them to bring their natural curiosity and audacity into the present. We were asked to complete the statements “People misunderstood____” and “The Truth is____” Here is part of mine:
“People misunderstood that I was super outgoing and easily made friends as we moved around every 3 years. The truth is I was so afraid of not fitting in that I would morph into whoever I thought would make friends and find her place as quickly as possible. This adaptability proved a useful skill but left me with no idea who I truly was and feeling deeply lonely for much of my life.”
As I visited 15-year-old, acne-fight-ing, braces-donning Beth, I could see how being a hormonal teenage chameleon generated a mess of identity and worthiness issues.
Fast forward (math I will not do) years later, and I can see how those years
nourished attributes I now cherish about myself. Qualities that I have only in the last 10 years been able to excavate. Being an intuitive host, creating a safe space for my circle, usually quick to forgive, always wanting to understand more, and desiring to be genuinely inclusive, to name a few. The silver linings from decades of secret storm clouds.
Laura’s coaching feedback included this statement with a perfect analogy for our journey to increased self-acceptance and love.
“When I feel into your energy, I get a sense of a Rubik’s Cube – one that you’ve been turning and trying to line up for years. The colors are lining up and you’re accepting the sides that are multi-colored because maybe they don’t all have to be perfect, they just need to be seen and understood.”
I immediately opened Amazon, found a Rubik’s Cube, and clicked “Add to cart.”
Chasing perfection contradicts self-love and yet, the desire seems to rear its head at just about every turn. We work to acknowledge and modify areas we perceive as less than perfect but in the name of self-awareness, we often forget that shadows cannot exist without light and vice versa. They are intertwined. The darkest parts of ourselves are offset with equal measures of light. We only have to seek it out. The more we embrace our shadows to uncover and expand our unique light, the smaller and less ominous they become.
The onset of Fall represents transition, letting go, balance, and perseverance. The seasonal changes serve as a reminder that release and rest are essential for continual growth. As we head into this time of transformation, let’s take a cue from Nature, embracing all our colors, releasing what no longer serves, and finding beauty in every phase of life.
In line with this theme of transformation, I encourage you to spend some time connecting with your light. Perhaps even draw inspiration from Laura’s exercise and take a trip down memory lane to visit with your inner teen. What were you passionate about? What worried you? How did you see the world? What truths and attributes about yourself do you now appreciate and love, despite their angsty origins? A note to self: Listening to a playlist from the year you were 15 is a fantastic way to be transported back and generate some reminiscent energy!
Transformation is a continuous process so celebrate your progress in every shade, knowing that it’s the interplay of light and shadow that makes you beautifully, uniquely, and authentically you.
Beth is a single mom, empty nester, preacher’s kid, queen of hot flashes, cook, reader, lover of office supplies, sipper of wine, and now… Purveyor of Badassery and owner of Counter Talks w/Beth. After 2 divorces, 3 kids, years of single parenthood, said kids flying the coop, the real estate crash, and losing my mom, I am driven to make sure other women are not left feeling stagnant, alone or powerless. Counter Talks w/Beth combines my unfaltering belief in what is possible with my love of journaling, cooking, and entertaining. Giving my coaching, retreats, and events a unique twist. I provide a safe space and 4 habits that allow women of any age to ignite their power and move freely into their NEXT…and to eat, drink, and be badass along the way! www.countertalks.com